Neil Armstrong: I wasn’t on the fucking moon

Neil Armstrong hat in einer Pressekonferenz bekanntgegeben, dass die Verschwörungstheoretiker Recht haben, die ganze Mondlandung ein Fake war und er keinen einzigen Fuß auf den Erdtrabenten gesetzt hat. Jesus H. Christ in an Onion chickenbasket!

LEBANON, OHIO—Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.

According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman’s website, OmissionControl.org.

“It only took a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind’s so-called ‘greatest technological achievement’ for me to realize I had been living a lie, ” said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home. “It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico.”

Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked