The Multi-Faith Blasphemy Generator:
The Multi-Faith Blasphemy Generator: „Holy mother of Pan on a sunshine bus, Disco dancing Mercury in Hell, Kentucky fried Krishna’s cock snot, Bollock naked Janus fidler, Colossal Jesus and Mohammed gravy, Half-baked Moses gravy, Sweet Mary mother of Horus scuttler!“
The Venn Diagram of Irrational Nonsense
The complete Bullshit, nailed in one awesome Venn Diagram:
In my gross over simplification the vast majority of the multitude of evidenced-free beliefs at large in the world can be crudely classified into four basic sets or bollocks. Namely, Religion, Quackery, Pseudoscience and the Paranormal.
However as such nonsensical beliefs continue to evolve they become more and more fanciful and eventually creep across the bollock borders. Although all the items depicted on the diagram are completely bereft of any form of scientific credibility, those that successfully intersect the sets achieve new heights of implausibility and ridiculousness. And there is one belief so completely ludicrous it successfully flirts with all forms of bollocks.
Pope meets Pope: Double-Pope across the sky!
Hat man auch noch nie gesehen: Papst trifft Papst. Double-Pope all the way across the sky, what does it mean? Und Franzi hat die beiden zu „Bro’s“ erklärt. Yo Pope, there you go!
„Pope Francis was flown via helicopter to the lakeside castle in Rome where Pope Emeritus Benedict has been living since falling ill last month. Present and former popes apparently got along quite well: Pope Francis declared the two ‘brothers’.“
Vatican is worried about Batman
Ansage vom Vatikan: „Holy switcheroo! Batman has grown bitter, more vengeful with the years“. Bei AP machte man sich bereits sorgen, ob die Website gehackt worden wäre:
One of the Vatican’s main Twitter accounts and the website of its communications office were running stories about Batman on Thursday with the headline “Holy Switcheroo!” — raising concerns they might have been hacked. But two Vatican officials said the site hadn’t been hacked, and that the reason for the unusual posting was an “internal system failure” due to a non-native English speaker posting the story on the website.
The story was from the Catholic News Service. It has as its headline: “Holy Switcheroo! Batman has grown bitter, more vengeful with the years” and details the evolution of the Batman comic franchise.
Vatican’s communications site runs Batman story (via Boing Boing)
Kleine Randbemerkung: Ich bin bei Comics grade ein bisschen raus und muss aus einem Vatikan-Artikel erfahren, dass Robin jetzt Vegetarier ist und es eine Bat-Cow gibt. Holy Crap Batman WTF?!
Activists troll Westboro Baptist Church with a Gay Pride-Rainbow-House
Schwule Aktivisten haben ein Haus gegenüber der Westboro Baptist Church gekauft, in Regenbogenfarben angemalt und machen daraus ein Gay Rights Center. Großartige Trollerei! Letzte Woche deutete die ehemalige WBC-Anhängerin Lauren Drain erst an, dass Fred Phelbs, Oberhaupt von „Americas Most Hated Family“, selbst homosexuell sein dürfte oder erst durch ein schwules Erlebnis seine extremistisch-homophobes Weltbild entwickelte. Halte ich für einen Mann, der sein ganzes Leben mit „God hates Fags“-Postern durch die Gegend rennt natürlich für äußerst unwahrscheinlich.
“I’ve been accused in the past of being all over the place, and they’re probably right on some level,” Jackson told me last night by phone. “Right now we are standing up to bigotry and promoting equality.”
So while considering the Westboro Baptist Church, he began dinking around on Google Maps late one night. He pulled up the church, at 3701 SW 12th St. in Topeka, and took a virtual walk around the block. In the front yard of a house across the street, he noticed a For Sale sign.
“It hit me right away,” Jackson told me last night by phone. “Huh. That would be interesting to own a house across from the Westboro Baptist Church and turn it into something.’ And then, within five seconds: ‘And I’ll paint it the color of the pride flag.’ Perfect.”
Gawker: The House Across From Westboro Baptist Is Getting a Rainbow Pride Paint Job Right Now (via Metronaut)
NYMag: The House Across From the Westboro Baptist Church Is Now a Rainbow-Colored Gay-Pride Center
HuffPo: Westboro Equality House: Aaron Jackson Paints Rainbow Home Across From Anti-Gay Church
A New Pope
Der neue Papst interessiert mich nur periphär, aber hier ein paar Links, allen voran erstmal der ernste Hintergrund beim Guardian zu seiner Nähe zum argentinischen Diktator General Jorge Rafael Videla, der in den 70ern auch mal Leute aus dem Flugzeug schmeißen lies und deren Kinder verkaufte. Wir habens hier also mit einem Sektenführer eines Todeskults zu tun, der scheinbar ein „modest man focused on the poor“ (Zitat Reuters) ist, tatsächlich aber Mördern und Menschenhändlern die Absolution erteilt. Ich glaub, das kann man so stehenlassen. Holy shit.
Nach dem Klick noch ein bisschen Unfug, die neue Papst-App fürs iPad zum Beispiel, Hugo Chavez und sein Kumpel Jesus und Sarah Silverman und sowas.
Conclave smoke-jacked in Pink by Feminist-Protest
Feministinnen haben zu Beginn der Konklave mit pinkem Rauch gegen die frauenfeindliche Haltung der Kirche protestiert. Sehr schöne Aktion, tolle Idee!
The release of black smoke, and not white smoke, from The Vatican chimney signified that a new pope had not been named. But what was the meaning of the less visible and less discussed pink smoke released over The Vatican? It was a protest against The Vatican’s refusal to ordain women priests. […]
“The current old boys’ club has left our Church reeling from scandal, abuse, sexism and oppression…. The people of the Church are desperate for a leader who will be open to dialogue and embrace the gifts of women’s wisdom in every level of Church governance.”
Pink smoke released over Vatican protesting lack of women priests (via Osocio)
Vatican hosts Europes biggest Gay Sauna
Wem gehört das Gebäude, in dem die größte schwule Sauna in Europa sitzt? Selbstverständlich: Dem Vatikan. Und zufälligerweise wohnen im selben Haus nicht nur Kurienkardinal Ivan Dias, sondern ganze 18 weitere Priester des Vatikans. Ich schätze mal, die Jungs können ein paar Sachen über den schwulen Geheimclub in der katholischen Kirche erzählen.
A day ahead of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican were even redder than usual after it emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna. […]
76-year-old “prince of the church” [Cardinal Ivan Dias, the head of the Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples,] enjoys a 12-room apartment on the first-floor of the imposing palazzo, at 2 Via Carducci, just yards from the ground floor entrance to the steamy flesh pot. There are 18 other Vatican apartments in the block, many of which house priests. […]
The sauna’s website promotes one of its special “bear nights”, with a video in which a rotund, hairy man strips down before changing into a priest’s outfit. It says Bruno, “a hairy, overweight pastor of souls, is free to the music of his clergyman, remaining in a thong, because he wants to expose body and soul”.
As cardinals gather to elect Pope, Catholic officials break into a sweat over news that priests share €23m building with huge gay sauna (via Arbroath)
Bonustrack: Fantasypope.com: „FantasyPope is a prediction market that taps into the wisdom of the crowds to forecast who will be the next Pope. By ranking the top five candidates, FantasyPope will track in real time the movements and trends during the conclave.“
God.js: Scripted Religion Browser-Plugin
Schönes neues Spielzeug von Ramsey Nasser, über dessen arabische Programmiersprache قلب ich vor ein paar Wochen gebloggt hatte. Diesmal hat er zum Art Hack Day unter dem Motto „God Mode“ ein Browser-Plugin namens God.js gebastelt, dass es einem erlaubt, seine eigene Religion zu programmieren und Gebote festzulegen, „Thou shall not browse Buzzfeed“ etwa. Wenn man dagegen verstößt, gibt’s Ermahnungen per Browser-Alerts vom selbst kreierten Browsergott und wenn man zuviel sündigt, öffnen sich zwei Dutzend Popups voller Höllenfeuer und himmlischer Plagen. Toll!
Das Ding ist leider nicht ganz so trivial, wie ich mir das grade vorgestellt habe, sonst hätte ich mal schnell eine Broswer-based Nerdcore-Religion zusammengefrickelt. Oder man könnte aus dieser Liste der Leistungsschutzrechtsunterstützer ein „Wrath Of The Web-Gods“-Plugin basteln… wie auch immer, sehr schickes Spielzeug.
God.js is a functional language thats lets anyone code their own beliefs, making it like an open source platform for browser-based religion. […] The plugin uses keywords and other attributes to conform your browsing experience to the ethos you’ve selected, as defined in the corresponding scripts (er, “scriptures”) which can be viewed and activated from a button on your browser’s navigation bar. Each religion’s doctrine lays out the forbidden fruits, which include everything from browsing Tumblr to loading a page that contains the word “Java” (the latter enforcing the will of Nasser, who hates Java).
Navigate onto a page containing blasphemous material and you’ll get a stern warning from your higher power via pop-up message. Disobey one too many times and you’ll be punished with two dozen tabs of animated GIF hellfire, boils and frogs covering your web pages, or all of your open browser tabs being smitten in one vengeful blow.
The Verge: ‘God.js’ lets you program and enforce your own browser-based religion
Github: God.js: New Gods Through Computer Science for Art Hack Day 2013
The Pope loves Comic Sans
In einer sehr, sehr strangen Synchronität der Ereignisse hat der Vatikan und der Papst zum Abschied ein Bilderbuch online gestellt, geschrieben in Comic Sans. Wir erinnern uns: Im Sommer 2012 hatten Wissenschaftler das „God Particle“, das Higgs Boson, in Comic Sans auf Kackbraun präsentiert. Der Vatikan und die Wissenschaftler am CERN haben also denselben schlechten und unpassenden Typo-Geschmack. Interessant.
The 62-page album, published to the Vatican website, features a collection of photos from L’Osservatore Romano, the Holy See’s newspaper. On every page is an image of Benedict doing various papal activities (leading Mass, kissing babies, washing feet) along with quotes from his collection of writings, displayed in Comic Sans — a font typically associated with children’s birthday party invitations rather than papal resignations or God Particle pursuits.
A New Pope
Adam Buxton hat aus gegebenen Anlass sein altes Papst/Star Wars-Mashup in halbwegs besserer Qualität hochgeladen. Passt immer noch perfekt.
Jesus™
Eine italienische Jeansfirma hat sich das Wort Jesus schützen lassen und geht jetzt gegen Modefirmen vor, die ebenfalls Klamotten mit Heiland machen wollen. Holy Shit!
In a branding coup of biblical proportions, an Italian jeans maker persuaded the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in 2007 to register the word “Jesus” as a trademark, giving the company exclusive rights in America to sell clothing bearing the name of Christianity’s central figure.
Since then, the owner of the trademark, Jesus Jeans, has clamped down on Jesus-themed apparel, pitting its litigators against more than a dozen other startup clothing lines it claims appropriated “Jesus” without the company’s blessing. The company doesn’t have a trademark on images of Jesus, just the word.
If You Take These Jeans’ Name in Vain, Prepare to Meet Their Maker
Priest with Holy Water Gun
Ein Priester mit Superhelden auf der Robe und ‘ner Weihwasserpistole. Endlich mal einer, der Religion in genau den fiktiven Fantasy-Mythos verpackt, der sie ist.
Father Humberto Alvarez uses a water pistol to dispense holy water and wears a robe covered in cartoon characters at children’s masses.
Secret Gay-Network in Vatican lead to Pope-Resignation?
Der Guardian berichtet unter Berufung auf die italienische Zeitung La Republica über ein geheimes Dossier über einen schwulen Geheimbund unter Katholiken, der erpresst wurde. Deshalb habe der Papst seinen Job hingeschmissen.
Sollte sich das als wahr herausstellen (tatsächlich wird das natürlich nie bestätigt werden), könnte das die katholische Kirche ähnlich erschüttern, wie die Tatsache, dass der Erde rund und nicht das Zentrum des Universums ist. Nach dem Schock durch das kopernikanische Weltbild wird die Kirche nun durch ein Post-Gender-Weltbild erschüttert, oder so ähnlich. Der Unterhaltungswert dieser Meldung kann überhaupt nicht genug unterstrichen werden. Hilarious! (Und ja, ich hätte das hier beinahe unter „Fun“ kategorisiert.)
A potentially explosive report has linked the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI to the discovery of a network of gay prelates in the Vatican, some of whom – the report said – were being blackmailed by outsiders. The pope’s spokesman declined to confirm or deny the report, which was carried by the Italian daily newspaper La Repubblica. […]
According to La Repubblica, the dossier comprising “two volumes of almost 300 pages – bound in red” had been consigned to a safe in the papal apartments and would be delivered to the pope’s successor upon his election. The newspaper said the cardinals described a number of factions, including one whose members were “united by sexual orientation”.
In an apparent quotation from the report, La Repubblica said some Vatican officials had been subject to “external influence” from laymen with whom they had links of a “worldly nature”. The paper said this was a clear reference to blackmail.
Guardian: Papal resignation linked to inquiry into ‘Vatican gay officials’, says paper
Slate: Pope resignation linked to gay Vatican officials inquiry
Augsburger Allgemeine: Papst-Rücktritt wegen geheimem Schwulen-Netzwerk im Vatikan?
(Bild: Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Alois Ratzinger) at Basilica and Expiatory Church of the Holy Family via Shutterstock)
